We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
