you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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