the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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