I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize