You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
