I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize