youre lurking in front of me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
