i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
