the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Mom said you looked used
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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