Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
