Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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