4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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