It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize