apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
