3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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