Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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