I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize