He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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