It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
