It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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