Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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