just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
