At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
