They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
