Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
