What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize