your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
