put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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