I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
