they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
