It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize