Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
