Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
