dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
