was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He? As in you personified your dick?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
my liver is dry heaving
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
