were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
