I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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