oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the day after is always just damage control
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
