Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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