Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
