dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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