But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
