If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
