I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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