Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
