I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize