would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Farmville is her only friend.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
