Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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