This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
