i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
