so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
