Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
