So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
