Duck Duck Cougar?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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