Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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