Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
