My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
